


Say It To Me Too (Please?)

by smallprotector



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: 5+1 fanfic, Because of Marius' upbringing, Feels, Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, mention of alcoholism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-25
Updated: 2018-03-25
Packaged: 2019-04-07 22:22:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14090970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smallprotector/pseuds/smallprotector
Summary: "I'm proud of you"Those are words Marius would give anything to hear, but they never seem to be directed at him.





	Say It To Me Too (Please?)

“I’m proud of you, son.”

As the episode ended on that seemingly innocuous sentence, Marius sprang up from the couch and announced he was getting popcorn. He made his way into the kitchen, blinking fast in the hope the tears that were welling up in his eyes would go away. What he would give to hear those words- but no, he had to get popcorn. And keep watching Courfeyrac’s favourite show. And it was a wonderful show, with such interesting characters and funny storylines. 

He busied himself getting the corn kernels from the cupboard and pouring a small amount of oil into the saucepan. While it was heating up, he let himself hold a handful of the kernels and focus on how they felt in his hand as he shifted them around in his fist, reflexively looking behind him to see no one was watching as he did it. By the time the oil seemed hot enough to add the corn, the feeling had calmed him down a bit.

As the kernels started popping, a voice spoke up from behind him. “Nice, old-fashioned popcorn! I thought we might still have some microwave stuff, but this is always fun!” Marius suppress his flinch at the unexpected sound and put on a smile, turning around to face Courfeyrac. 

“Yep!” He still didn’t quite trust microwaves, they just seemed strange. But they’d laughed at him when he’d admitted that (before showing him how they worked and explaining what you shouldn’t put it them because they were nice, and his friends, and hadn’t meant to make him feel bad) so he didn’t like bringing it up. 

“Hey Marius, is something the matter? You seemed really eager to get away there. It’s alright if you don’t want to keep watching! We can watch some of those nature documentaries ‘Ferre is always raving about, I know you love lizards.”

“No, the show is great! I loved the dog in this episode. I just wanted a break for a second.”

“Okay, if you’re sure! Then I’ll leave you to it, come back when you want to keep watching, if you do.”

“Okay!” As Coufeyrac left, Marius took a deep breath. It would be okay. Courfeyrac didn’t mind him taking a break and when Marius went back maybe he’d put his head in Marius’ lap or lean against his shoulder. He wasn’t going to let this stupid sadness ruin his evening. 

\---

Almost all the members of Les Amis were assembled, chatting while they waited for the meeting to start. “I uh, have something I’d like to say if people could listen for a second?” Jehan said. Most people kept talking, since he’d almost whispered it. Enjolras, who was sitting next to him, put a steading hand on his arm and said something quietly that made Jehan take a deep breath, square his broad shoulders and draw himself up to his full height. “Could everybody listen for a second please!” 

The room quietened down and Jehan cleared his throat. 

“I, I have a book of poetry that’ll be coming out? If anyone wants to read that once it’s out. Um, in case anyone is interested?”

“Of course! I can’t wait to read it,” Marius said, smiling up at his friend. 

“Heck yeah!!” Joly yelled.

“Wooo poetry! You know I’m gonna love it,” Grantaire said, his soft smile showing how sincere he truly was. 

“We’re so proud of you Jehan,” Bahorel said and Marius considered writing a book too for a few wild seconds before banishing the thought as selfish. This was Jehan’s moment, and he had no right to be jealous- and there was no way he could write anything like Jehan could.

“Thank you, guys,” Jehan said, blushing as he sat back down. Throughout the course of the evening, people came over. 

\---

The club Les Amis had gone to after the meeting was loud and Marius was sticking by the bar with Grantaire, despite Courfeyrac having tried to drag him onto the dance floor where he was now having what seemed to be the time of her life.

“No thanks, I’ve been trying to cut back lately. Not- not totally, yet but- you know.” 

Bahorel grinned and slapped Grantaire’s back. Marius looked up, trying not to be obvious about it but happy to hear this. When he’s first joined Les Amis, he’d wondered why no one mentioned to Grantaire that he should drink less, before realising it wasn’t as simple as that. 

“I’m so fucking proud of you dude. Do you want one of those fun virgin cocktails to celebrate? I think I might have one too, they have the best names.”

“Sure, let’s see what they have.”

“Sweet!!”

“Hhmm, sickly.”

\---

Marius was sitting next to Joly and Combeferre reading his German notes when Combeferre made a startled noise.

“The results from the exam have been uploaded,” Combeferre said, clearly trying his best to look calm even as his brow creased in worry. 

“Do you want me to look and tell me what you got?” Joly asked, looking up from the notebook he had been decorating with dinosaur stickers. They all knew how much Combeferre struggled with exams, and how close he had come to failing despite loving his subject and working as hard as he could. 

“Could you? I’m… worried.” That seemed like an understatement to Marius, but who was he to judge. 

There was tense silence for a few seconds as Joly looked through the list of results on Combeferre’s laptop. 

“’Ferre you passed! You got 70%!!”

“That’s so great Combeferre!!” Marius said, smiling at his friend. He knew how much this would mean to Combeferre.

“Oh thank god! I mean, I know it’s not really that good or anything but-“

“Fuck that! You worked really hard on this and you shouldn’t put yourself down. I’m so proud of you for this.” 

At those words, Marius stared down at his notes. Maybe if he just worked harder someone would say that to him too, but he knew he was just lucky because of how easily everything came to him now he was learning the languages he had always been fascinated by and could get lost in for hours. It wasn’t the same as Combeferre’s determination. 

“Thank you. That means a lot. Anyone want to come out and get ice-cream to celebrate?” 

\---

He was standing next to Feuilly waiting for Courfeyrac to join them after a meeting when Enjolras came up to them. 

“Hey Feuilly, how have you been doing? I haven’t heard much from you lately.”

“Well I… I was struggling for a bit. But I started going to therapy again.”

Enjolras turned to embrace Feuilly, his usual awkwardness with physical affection obvious even as his face settled into a gentle smile when Feuilly hugged him right back tightly. “I’m so proud of you for getting help,” Marius heard him say quietly, and he couldn’t help but feel like this was something far too intimate for him to be seeing, as if he was intruding on a moment meant only for the two of them. But he also felt a deep ache and found himself wishing more than anything he could do something to make Enjolras say those words to him too. He'd promised to wait for Courfeyrac here and he couldn't just leave now that would make it even more awkward. 

“Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help, okay Feuilly? I’m always here for you.” 

“I’ll do my best. Anyway, is there anything new with you?”

\---

“Well done Marius, we’re so proud of you!”

The words rang in his ears as he tried to pick up the shards of the broken glass he’d dropped. He bit his lip and tried to focus as his vision got blurry and it got harder to see where the pieces were through the tears. 

“He, hey, woah, careful there, don’t cut yourself!” Courfeyrac said, crouching down next to where Marius was kneeling. 

“Wait- Marius, are you crying?”

Marius scrambled till he was upright, mumbled something about having to go as he ran to the bathroom.

“Shit!” he heard Courfeyrac say from the other room. 

“Leave him, if he wanted us to talk to him he would have stayed. We can apologise when he’s ready,” Eponine said. 

Marius sat in the corner, taking deep breaths until he didn’t feel as if he might fall apart. Once he had calmed down, he walked back to the room where Courfeyrac and Eponine were still waiting for him, hoping they wouldn’t ask why he’d reacted like that.

“Sorry about that guys! I’m fine.”

“Marius no- we’re sorry. That was mean,” Eponine said. 

“Well, I did break the glass.”

“Yes but- that’s not your fault. I startled you.”

“Can you tell us why you got so upset? Was it because we made fun of you? Because I promise I won’t do that again,” Courfeyrac asked, his eyes soft and concerned.

“I just… I wish someone really was proud of me.”

There was silence. Eponine’s face twisted, but she looked understanding instead of horrified. 

“Marius, of course I’m proud of you! Can I hug you?”

Marius nodded, not trusting his voice. Courfeyrac wrapped his arms around him and warmth enveloped him, chasing away the horrible shivers that he had been trying to supress since dropping the glass. 

“We’re all proud of you Marius. I love you, okay?”

“Love you too,” Marius whispered, his voice muffled. But he could tell Courfeyrac had heard him from how the arms around him tightened for just a second. Maybe he could even believe Courfeyrac’s words one day. 

Eponine was still sitting on the couch, her shoulders drawn up. 

“You know I care about you too, right? And I promise to try to be kinder.”

Marius nodded. “Thank you. Now come on, we don’t want to be late for Jehan’s poetry reading.”

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos are very appriciated! I'm on tumblr as wanttodrawmothsfrommemory, come say hi :D Feel free to suggest anything you'd like to see :D
> 
> Thank you for reading!


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